Version October 2025

Sometimes we are asked during an information evening or a mini-course or during other conversations ‘what should we definitely not do when we meet a person seeking help and what should we do’. This is not something that is easy to answer, but below a loyal volunteer has tried to list some tips.

• Reliability and transparency

♥️Zorg that you are trustworthy.

That your actions match what you say. Make up for mistakes and say sorry when something has gone wrong.

In the cult, trust is so intensely and deeply broken down and destroyed that it takes a lot of time to start realising a little bit again that trustworthiness does exist.

So have a lot of patience. Be realistic. Someone may never fully succeed in being able to trust someone completely.

• Dare to ask questions

♥️Durf ask questions. This helps the other person to understand where you stand and helps bring hidden issues into the light.

• Triggers

♥️ Make and let triggers be discussable. It helps a lot when you can take them into account and/or understand them. For instance, the sacrament in a church service can be triggering, but so can the Christmas tree you put up for decoration at Christmas. Make it discussable and try to understand each other.

• Darkness must turn into light

♥️Als memories and or events shared let it be known whether or not you read or understood it.

Give a response from your heart. It ensures that learned and imprinted lies don't have a chance and it naturally reflects how you think about things.

Rather a more honest, awkward response, than silence or beating around the bush. Survivors are very sensitive and often notice what you really feel anyway. Saying different things than what you really feel often creates ambiguity and mistrust.

The key is: everything that has come into the light, darkness has no power over it.

• God's word as support and encouragement

♥️Bemoedigingen, verbalising Bible texts and prayers help to give direction to stuck feelings. This helps immensely in moments of inner crisis, to give feelings the right direction again.

• Spiritual struggle

♥️Tijdens difficult days/cult nights and crises, prayer is essential. Either remotely or via app. Sometimes it's nice to be on call at times like that.

You may also experience spiritual struggles as a helper. Be aware that someone is trying to discourage you from doing the right thing and stay close to Yeshua.

• Do not leave alone

♥️Blijf. Start it only when you are sure you want to go for this and can keep doing this for a long time. This is marathon work and not a sprint.

We hope this has given you some tools and may encourage you to stand beside the person whom Yeshua has brought into your path!

Hang in there!